“A husband can give a tremendous amount, but there’s no limit to the type of comforting, affection and support a woman deserves and needs in labor, and she needs this not only from me, but from a caring, knowledgable woman, too.”

The Doula book, A father’s account of his wife’s birth
How Doulas and partners work together

If you feel concerned by the idea of hiring a doula you are not alone

Some common beliefs from dads include:

  • If my wife wants or needs a doula that means I’m not enough
  • The doula will replace me and I will feel useless
  • If I am not the only support person for my wife I have failed in some way
  • It is embarrassing to need more support for my wife than I can give.  How am I not enough for her?
  • Somehow, for some reason, I feel threatened by the thought of a doula.  It makes me feel inadequate in being the man my wife needs me to be during her birth.

I am truly not here to replace you. I never could. You know and love your partner and baby in a unique and intimate way and I have experience and training in pregnancy and birth. She needs us both – we make the perfect team! The demands placed on fathers during childbirth is significant and overlooked. First year medical students are often overwhelmed by childbirth. It’s a lot to ask fathers to go it alone as their wife’s sole support.

But can’t my husband be my doula?
– studies show we’re better together –

Interventions MeasuredPartner Only SupportingPartner and Doula Supporting
Cesarean Rate22.5%14.2%
Epidural Use76.8%67.6%
– McGrath, S. K., & Kennell, J. H. (1998). Induction of Labor and Doula Support. Pediatric Research, 43, 14-14