“A husband can give a tremendous amount, but there’s no limit to the type of comforting, affection and support a woman deserves and needs in labor, and she needs this not only from me, but from a caring, knowledgable woman, too.”The Doula book, A father’s account of his wife’s birth
If you feel concerned by the idea of hiring a doula you are not alone
Some common beliefs from dads include:
- If my wife wants or needs a doula that means I’m not enough
- The doula will replace me and I will feel useless
- If I am not the only support person for my wife I have failed in some way
- It is embarrassing to need more support for my wife than I can give. How am I not enough for her?
- Somehow, for some reason, I feel threatened by the thought of a doula. It makes me feel inadequate in being the man my wife needs me to be during her birth.
I am truly not here to replace you. I never could. You know and love your partner and baby in a unique and intimate way and I have experience and training in pregnancy and birth. She needs us both – we make the perfect team! The demands placed on fathers during childbirth is significant and overlooked. First year medical students are often overwhelmed by childbirth. It’s a lot to ask fathers to go it alone as their wife’s sole support.
But can’t my husband be my doula?
– studies show we’re better together –
|Interventions Measured||Partner Only Supporting||Partner and Doula Supporting|