If you feel concerned by the idea of hiring a doula you are not alone
Some common beliefs from dads include:
- If my wife wants or needs a doula that means I’m not enough
- The doula will replace me and I will feel useless
- If I am not the only support person for my wife I have failed in some way
- It is embarrassing to need more support for my wife than I can give. How am I not enough for her?
- Somehow, for some reason, I feel threatened by the thought of a doula. It makes me feel inadequate in being the man my wife needs me to be during her birth.
I am truly not here to replace you. I never could. She needs us both. You know and love your partner and baby in a unique and intimate way and I have experience and training in how to best support and comfort women in childbirth. I am here to support and educate the both of you which actually allows you to better support your lady during this precious time.
“Doulas are, in reality, a support person for fathers as well, ensuring that the partner’s physical and emotional needs are also met. Just as doulas see to the comfort, hydration, nutrition, and calm of laboring and new mothers, they also see to these needs for fathers.”
Jun 18, 2015
www.dona.org › dads-doulas-myths-resources
The demands placed on fathers during childbirth is significant and overlooked. First year medical students are often overwhelmed by childbirth. It’s a lot to ask fathers to go it alone as their wife’s sole support.
“A husband can give a tremendous amount, but there’s no limit to the type of comforting, affection, and support a woman deserves and needs in labor, and she needs this not only from me, but from a caring, knowledgeable woman, too.”
– a father’s account of his wife’s birth
The Doula Book